Post by Katheyrn Mae Wilson MD♥ on Feb 1, 2009 1:06:51 GMT -5
Part One – Giving In
AN: Thanks to sternenbilder on YouTube for making the amazing Albus/Minerva video of this song.
*hands out tissues now - I know you will need them.*
Disclaimer: JKR still owns Harry Potter. I highly doubt that I ever will and P!nk owns the song “I Don't Believe You”.
Takes place around the fall of 1991. Disregards all HP events after Harry meets Hagrid.
To listen to the song while reading, click here.
Her eyes tried to hold back tears as he brushed past her. His head turned for a fraction of a second as he pulled open the door. Then he was gone. The realization came crashing down on her a few seconds later as the tears spilled from her eyes – soaking the front of her robes and the handkerchief she had pulled from her robes.
I don't mind it
I don't mind at all
Minerva McGonagall wasn't one to cry, but she could hold it back any longer. She knew that this would happen – when he confessed his love for her – he'd push her away, just like she knew he would. It wasn't safe for them, it never was. Nor was it legal. But she didn't care and since the day she had begun her teaching career at Hogwarts, slowly she had been falling for him.
It's like you're the swing set
And I'm the kid that falls
Of course he was the greatest wizard said to have walked the earth besides Merlin himself – yet that didn't stop her for one moment. His twinkling blue eyes that made her laugh, and his voice that she knew she adored so much. Yet, she knew Albus Dumbledore was never one to risk losing someone he loved.
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
“Minerva – we can't,” he had caught her off guard and her eyes met his.
“Why?” She had whispered, feeling tears well up behind her eyes. Then, he had turned from her, staring across the grounds, watching the sun set in the sky.
“It's too dangerous,” his voice was as serious as she could remember.
“I don't care,” Her strength had surprised her and she had reached for him, and he had willingly enfolded her in his arms as she cried. Albus had held her for what seemed like forever, then he pulled away suddenly, caressing her cheek.
“I care Minerva,” he whispered to her, “I could lose you. And, it's illegal.”
That was it, her eyes narrowed and she visibly saw him wince under he glare - “I don't give a damn what the ministry wants.” She snapped.
“Good bye Minerva,” he kissed her cheek then swept from the room, sparing her one last glance.
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
That had been merely three months ago, and still she knew, he still cared for her. She knew it. The way he brushed against her hand at every meal, letting her know that he was still there. How his eyes' twinkling seemed to increase ten times as much when she entered the room. When she needed comforting, he was there for her, even if he didn't know he was the reason she cried to herself for hours on end.
So it's got to be right
Right?
Every now and then, she stared at the one picture she could look at fondly and smile – even if it was of her and Albus. They had gone to the seaside of Italy on a conference and had arrived a day early. Later, Albus had surprised her completely and told her to get dressed up and that they were going to dinner. For once, she had worn her hair down, and she wore a light blue floor-length dress that showed off a bit of her figure. He had been so taken with her beauty that night, when they returned to their hotel room, he had kissed her cheek briefly before retreating onto the balcony to watch the stars, leaving her to wonder if their friendship could blossom into something more.
No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more.
Once, a few days later, she had shown Albus the photograph and calmly, he had taken it from her, and in one fluid motion, torn it from top to bottom, dropping the halves at her feet. Then he had given her one glare, and watching her every move, he had bent at her feet, and picked up the halves. Again, he tore them, and again, concentrating on her expression. After the pieces had fallen to her feet in knut-sized pieces, he looked into her eyes.
“All you have left in your memories.” He whispered.
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore.
But he hadn't known, known that she had spent almost three hours after that, pasting the pieces together one by one until their smiling faces faced her once again.
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all
Then when Lily and James had been murdered, he had held her in his arms, stroking her hair as it fell loosely in his grasp around her shoulders. She had loved him then – and him, her – and when she had been done crying, he had kissed away each of her tears, then last, he had captured his lips in a passionate first kiss.
I don't mind it
I still don't mind at all.
Sometimes she considered it. A Memory Charm? Death? Would it help? Her … yes … a little – she decided. Albus … was she honestly worried about harming him mentally after what he did to her? Yes …yes – she loved him, more than anything.
It's like one of those bad dreams
When you can't wake up.
She tossed and turned that night, then finally slipped from her bed. And crossed the room, staring from her window. A lone figure, one of the few staff members staying that summer, crossed the courtyard. But at a closer look, she spotted a long silver beard and tears filled her eyes as his head turned to look at her window.
It looks like you've given up
You've had enough.
But I want more
No I won't stop.
Turning from the window, she drew her curtains and crossed to the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. After a few moments hesitation, she turned on the hot water faucet, and poured in a lavender power, hoping to clear her mind for an hour.
Because I just know
You'll come around.
She slipped into the tub, the nightly edition of the Daily Prophet resting on the floor besides her dressing gown. Closing her eyes, she dipped her head under the still-running faucet and lathered her hair in a ginger shampoo that Albus had gifted her with the previous fall for her birthday.
Right?
Stepping from the tub, she wrapped a towel around her hair and quickly dried herself off in a second towel, then, after a short internal debate, wrapped herself in a silken, lilac colored pressing gown that Albus had also given her that fall.
Just don't stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don't mind at all
She pushed the wet towels under the sink and drained the tub while washing her face with soap and water, trying to rid herself of her worries. Stepping into her living room, which, in respect of size of the staff rooms, also held her dresser and bed, she dropped a stack of old letters that she and Albus had written at the feet of her favorite chair.
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried.
Making her bed, Minerva slipped off the necklace she had received from her mother when she had begun her schooling at Hogwarts, wrapped it in a handkerchief and laid it besides the letters. Then, opening the bottom drawer in her dresser, Minerva removed a box of stationary and tore off half a sheet and pulled out an ordinary Muggle pencil.
We come to blows
And every night.
She wrote quickly with a fast and hand and her words were distinguishable even after her tears fell on the paper.
I love you. Minerva
Knowing who would be the first to see her tomorrow, when he came to wake her and escort her to the Great Hall for breakfast, she let Albus' image float to the top of her mind as she laid the paper besides the letters, necklace and the box of stationary.
The passion's there
So it's got to be right,
Right?
Picking up her wand, she closed her eyes, “I love you Albus Dumbledore.” She whispered, her wand pointed at the mirror before her.
“Avada Kendavra.”
I don't believe you
And with a last, quiet breath, tears staining her cheeks – Minerva McGonagall fell, her wand landing besides the pile of letters.
AN: Please don't kill me! *cowers* If you felt tocuhed or just are upset that she's dead, please review.
